I can't believe this!

Damn! This is the second time I've had a shower this week! What is this world coming to? This is insane. Must admit this though, the weather is rather hot these days! But the thing is, ONCE A WEEK!!! ONCE A WEEK!!! Now, everyone is proclaiming, oh chewy, you're so white now! Duh. Did I look black before? Or green? Or purple? Or......

Anyway, just for the record, I don't like to take showers! I'm a natural stinky poo, leave me alone! By the way, I think my kind do get sweaty. Cos I've been doing some footballing in the past few days and I think I do smell a wee bit different. But the weather is bad these days what!

Go away, no more showers this week!!!!!

My greatest weakness

When I typed in the title with my chubby (they're rather cute...) paws, I realized that I may have more than one weakness. Hence, I shall list ALL my weaknesses now here. Number 1 has got to be ice cream! I love ice cream.... What can I say??? It's ice cream. Anyway, haagen daz is still the best. Nothing compares to it... Perhaps other than Godiva. But well, that's in a different category altogether, isn't it? But talking about Godiva, it has to be truffles!!! Truffles are the best. Hmmm. It makes me look rather silly but when the littler sister takes it out of the fridge.... OOOOOOOOOH...... My nose just follows it. I reiterate, it's just my nose (I can't help it if I can't detach my nose! Trust me, it's not me, it's the nose!!!!). The nose takes on a life of its own and GOES. Wow. That's fantastic stuff. If I look cute enough, littler sis might just give me a lick. That terrible person will then wave me away and say something like, No More. Duh, it's right there in her hand and she says no more! Bleugh. Crap. Blatant lies. Humans are terrible.

My other weakness will be otah. The spicy fish is fantastic. It has to be spicy. So addicted to them. That's something I get to eat cos it's just fish. Oh yes, I must whine about this silly diet they put me on. It's not a weight loss diet or anything like that. It's more like a scab-free diet. Sigh. No meat other than fish. F-I-S-H. Canned F-I-S-H. Dry kibbles too. And my favorite veggies. By the way, my ancestors are English, therefore, I love my salads. Haha. That sounds rather uppity yea? Hehehe.

Anyway, it's getting late and I'm feeling sleepy. Once she turns off the talking box (they call it a tv. stupid name.), I'll be off to bed. Now, let me take a nap!

Soccer is my life!!!!

Today, I'm here to extol the virtues of the game. I love soccer. Especially when played with a small plasticky yellow ball. It's a special ball. It has a hole somewhere for me to hang on to. I have another spongy one. That's a freebie from HBO I think (Well, it says HBO. Has to be!). The plasticky one is better cos it irritates people more! It makes a lot of noise.

Oh yes, I was about to extol the virtues of soccer. Reason Number One. The ALL IMPORTANT reason: It helps me to poo. It's true. You know how getting stucked is not very fun? Well, I can't help it sometimes. And it's crap when they tell you to eat more veggies. I eat LOADS of veggies everyday (trust me, it's glam), but sometimes, I still have stucked days. So all I need is a round of soccer and it'll be out. Exercise is the way to go (not quite, just some short soccer game). After that, my mood turns better, the day gets brighter, the weather less hot, the lizards all gone!

Reason Number Two: It makes the entire family exercise. Everyone has their turn at picking the ball when it gets stuck under some stupid cabinet or something. Then again, there are lazier members in the family who refuse to go pick it up, or pretend not to understand me. I know it, they ARE pretending!!! Just this morning, I managed to give my sis a bit of grief. Just when she was about to step out of the house, I 'ordered' her to pick up the ball from under the cabinet. I gave her this, 'c'mon, help me!' look, opened my eyes real wide and beamed at her rather foolishly. Humans are just like that. You have to look stupid before they'll do anything for you. If you snarl at them, they'll give you a smack on the head! She had no choice but to go and get it.

Reason Number Three: The harder the exercise, the better you sleep. Taking into consideration the number of hours I sleep in the day, exercise IS important.

Reason Number Four: That's the only form of exercise I'll ever get! No one wants to bring my ANYWHERE! Hear that, SPCA?!

*sobsob*

*wink*

New shirt

I forgot to blog about this! But sis let me wear a new shirt on Monday. Boy, did I look great! It's like a polo tee, with dark blue and red stripes. Mighty spiffy! That's nice. Haven't seen my older nerd shirts in a while. Wonder what happened to them. Haha...

When the going gets tough, the tough goes to sleep

Yes, that's true. The going does get tough for a wee dog like me. Certain things do get me down. Like, when I wanna play some soccer, the ball gets stuck somewhere I can't get at. That sucks. If mummy's at home, I'll get mummy to get it for me. But when she's busy or something, damn. That sucks big time. Then, the going starts getting tough. It's just like an itch you can't get at. It's just like the hamster that you can't chomp on. It's just like trying to get at a lizard on the wall. It peeves the hell out of me.

By now, most people would have realised that I can be a rather grouchy and irritable fella. Well, you can't expect the Prince of YP to be anything less than that, can you?

Anyway, when the going gets a wee bit too tough, I go take a nap. Trust me, things become brighter when you wake up. By then, the skies have cleared, the bladdy birds have stopped chirping and dinner is served.

*Yawn....*

It's monday. Black monday. Even though I'm grounded every single day, I still hate mondays. No no no, nothing to do with that fat and silly orange cat. Orange is such an unglam color to be caught in. Phew, my ancestors are all white! Even ipods are white these days. White is THE color. Back to mondays. Mondays are such tiring tiring days. After a fun weekend, monday is just pure boredom. Nothing to do at all. Nobody's home. Sometimes, mummy's home. That's bad. I spend my time watching her zoom around the house with wet clothes, then dry clothes then putting the clothes on some kinda board and she just stands there. Humans do weird things. So I watch.

Am waiting for the sister to come home. When she's home, there's air con. It's a hot hot day ya know! Took a little nap just now. Nothing to do. Walk around the house, keep a lookout for stupid birds and bees and flies and insects and lizards. Boy, do I hate those things. They are ugly or what!

I wonder when will they bring me out again. Oh yes, that day I went for a bbq. Was not fun. I was latched to this railing and abandoned at a corner. Damn, I forgot to bring my mobile then. Otherwise I'd have called for help! And there was nothing there for me to eat. To think mummy even brought my own food to a bbq! See, mums are embarassing sometimes!

Anyway, I have mixed feelings about going out on this thing they call 'kai kai'. It makes me really furious to see the state of things out there. Other dogs are so terrible, they have no manners at all! They are terrible, terrible, terrible. They need to learn some ettiquette! Not that I'm mister ettiquette myself... But still...

Okok, enough on that. I think I better get back to my nap. Otherwise, mummy will wake me up for dinner soon. My whole day will be messed up once again!

Adios, scooting off now..... Ooops, please don't tell anyone that I 'scooted' off, they'll send me to that strange looking vet again!

I wanna be a punk rocker!

I woke up a bit earlier than usual today. After the pee (it's tough to hold it in all night!), I decided that today shall be punk rock day. So, the first thing a punk rocker needs, is the FUR! The FUR has gotta look right! So there I was, trying very hard, using all my paws, my entire head, the floor, basically anything and everything to get the look right.

For all the young punks out there who need to get the look right, do this. Use your 2 paws (both left and right, front ones of course!) brush fur from back of ear to front. VIGOROUSLY. That settles the spikes at the top of the head. Next, the sides. While doing this, please make sure that you are not destroying the upward spikes. Put your head to the ground, one side at the time, rub vigorously. That should settle the sides. For a angsty messed up look in the face, use your paws and rub your face real hard. That's all you need to do! Groovy!

Ok, let me get on with my grouse number 1 of the day. The moment my sister woke up and went to pee (I followed her, as usual, to make sure that she doesn't mess up my ROOM!), she screeched, why do you look so messy like a stray?!?

Damn, is she dumb or what?! PUNK ROCK! DUH. Then she proceeded to flatten my fur ALL OVER! Hey, that took time. It's a work of art. (But at least she didn't use the brush! Phew! That's public enemy number 1) Anyway, that's that. So I'm back to looking a wee bit daft (Ref to photo 1: That's me.)

Humans, you just don't geddit ya?!